Friday, 10 April 2015

I've realised all the counting, curating, thinking
about my possessions and wardrobe is
really an attempt to feign control of my life.
It's obsessive and scarily similar to anorexia.
And yet it's soothing, and thankfully,
not harmful (perhaps annoying), so 
I don't think I will (can) stop.

8 comments:

anexactinglife.com said...

I find it calming, too, and somewhat socially acceptable (decluttering, anyway). When I tell people I know how many items of clothing I have, they will offer a "matching" statement like, "I've collected every Willow Tree figurine since 1998" or such like. I suppose there are some people without harmless compulsions but I don't know any. Or rather, I know some who have fewer "hobby" compulsions, countered by more serious ones (like obsessively checking on people, or beating themselves up over mistakes, or holding a grudge for 20 years).

Gam Kau said...

ExactingL - socially acceptable, okay, I'll take that. I hadn't thought of myself as compulsive, but I so obviously am. I suppose the essence of compulsion is that it is by definition excessive, thus rendering it less than harmless.
know thyself, know thyself, know thyself…

Shelley said...

I need the illusion of some control in my life else I'd be scared to get out of bed in the morning! I've not managed the decluttering strategy as yet, only to stop buying and to use what I already have.

pao said...

You're okay Gam Kau. We all like you just the way you are. Surely there's some DSM in us all. And so what?

frugalscholar said...

Same language as eating disorders: binge and purge.

Gam Kau said...

Shelley - yes, the illusion of control somehow makes life navigable. Without it I would be frozen.

Pao - maybe a bit more in me than others, but so what? A bit of neurosis is good for the soul…

FS - yes! And the cycle continues...

silkpathdiary said...

You're definitely not alone! And to use the same language, I'm trying to change to a healthier mode that I can sustain easier without guilt and without the cycle of binge and purge.

Gam Kau said...

SilkP - glad I am in good company! Me too, I'm trying to focus on more concientious acquisition rather than mindless consuming.